Being broke is hard. To overlook the ice cream area, the variety of biscuits (chocolate ones, to be precise), even the horrid horrid chips (they taste terrible in India, the Lays in Dubai was AWESOME) in a grocery store really gets to me. The hogger in me has had to compromise. And compromise makes me hungry. Its a Goddamn loop ! Anyway, what I learned from being broke is, its hard to be broke; but with great friends who starve with you (okay I’m exaggerating a little) really gets a person through junk-less tough times. Last night, my broke friend and I spoke about the things we’d like to eat. Also about the terrible sun under which we have to walk instead of taking autos only to save up a little. That’s painful. Mostly because I’m lazy as hell. But still. Its so hot, classes are so boring, and we cant buy ice cream. What is left to liiiive forrr ?! (Drama, and curtains drop). So here I sit in front of a computer to vent, well; actually to distract myself from the over powering thought of ice creams, and write my story. My story of being broke.
I have these two people in my life, friends who seem perfectly normal from the outside. One looks like he’s always high on something though he hasn’t even tried weed let alone anything else. He’s an innocent boy. The other looks like a quiet QUIET person with such tall barriers around her, you’ll have to pass all tests to get into her fortress. Then there is me. I’m insane when I’m with these two people. And I swear to God, I don’t know why. Its like our normalcy charade drops like the ball in Manhattan on new year’s eve when we meet up. Three seemingly normal people who like to do the weirdest things. We go out on these midnight bike rides around town, only to barely venture into this cold, cooold forest and turn back. Everything looks scary at night. That’s why its so much fun. I think I really creep these two out when I break into a high school musical song every now and then. But its hard not to get high on adrenaline. Last night we ventured further into that forest only to give to the evident spookiness and turn back. But then tomorrow is another day ! Perhaps when the sun is still setting that forest might not look so .. err .. uninviting and awesome. So until next time, we three postpone our insanity for a bit for that one sure to be memorable evening.
You know what I’d like ? A whole wooden cupboard only for stationery. I love stationery. LOVE it. Pencils, color pencils, sketch pens, ordinary pens, not so ordinary pens, extra dark pencils, fine lining black felt tipped pens, fine lining (any) color felt tipped pens, highlighters, scissors, fancy scissors, calligraphy pens, extra calligraphy nibs, plastic rulers, metallic rulers, sticky notes, bookmarks, sticky note – labels, plain labels, rubbers, glue sticks, glue pots, staplers, staple-pin removers, correction pens, omgomgomg paintbrushes, art supplies, water colors, oil paints, oil pastels, palettes, canvas frames, canvas boards. I’m sure there is more, I’m not able to remember. But you get the point. I love stationery. I get so excited thinking about it. Just give me some pens and I’ll draw all over your face. Its fun feeling stationery. Yes feeling them. Memorizing them, their color, their feel. Its as exciting as sitting in front of a blank canvas knowing that you can create anything. I think my love for stationery is almost as strong as my love for books. I enjoy coveting both. Also, I think I love hardware tools too now. I’m still searching for the right pliers. I’m really excited. Did I mention I love paper too ? And notebooks. And drawing pads. Aaaaaahh there is so much to love !!! Stationery is awesome.
Growing up is so important. Every thing you experience can be used as a metaphor for new mistakes. I always tried to be this ideal kid, trying not to get into trouble at home. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents at any cost socially and personally. (Not counting the number of times I failed in math :P) Yes, that attitude did save me from committing many mistakes. But could I avoid committing mistakes forever ? No sir. There is one very important thing that attitude taught me though. It taught me self preservation. Brilliant willpower associated with self preservation. I committed so many stupid mistakes, or so I thought that time. Today when I look back, each mistake is such a powerful lesson learned which further just proves that all things are one. Life has a habit of repeating many things in new ways. I recognized those things, felt a sense of deja vu and finally understood how to walk around the manholes. So today those mistakes are a map. New mistakes don’t have a good enough impact to tear my soul into pieces. Just as a trained martial artist who has practiced boxing till his knuckles bleed for years; wont feel pain today when he punches a human. So thank you, mistakes. You truly have taught me, molded me and hardened me enough to pick up my pieces and walk off with dignity, understanding and peace.
Lets see now, I missed morning classes once again because I got up late once again, because I slept late once again and so on so forth. The one thing that I did differently is go get a glass of bournvita BEFORE eating ice cream. Also, that I sat down to browse wordpress instead of facebook. Finally I see signs of me getting a little more productive. 2013 is really a new year.
I did wonder all morning as to why it is that there aren’t any acapella groups in colleges in India. Then I smacked myself in the head and told myself the answer was in the question. People don’t get so creative in India. Especially in colleges. Its just not the time to get creative, as much as it is the time to get drunk. I prefer the former to the latter. I’m wired differently. So, as I spent my morning wishing I was in another country doing things I actually enjoy, I even read this one person’s blog. I love reading his blog. Link – http://sfnowak.com/
I think this post screams scatter brained freak. But I really do think fast and A LOT.
One random fact. I love to fix things. Anything that my brain can comprehend. Its a strange quality. I actually would love to own pliers. All this while I’ve used my nails to fix broken chains, broken flush pumps, paintings and other things which has resulted in torn, I repeat TORN nails. So you can see why I really need pliers. I don’t want to go around giving people the wrong idea of what I’ve been upto with my nails, most girls who care about manicures would faint at the condition of my nails. I’m not overly girly with wanting french tips on my nails, but I do like them clean and neat.
I recently got a screw driver set. My friend really had to confirm my gender after I told him this. Whats worse is, when I told what worried me about them; he flipped. I expressed my concern for the set of different screwdrivers that didn’t look very well oiled. I was worried about them rusting. I thought, who better than a guy could understand this predicament ? I don’t think his brain could process the strange concerns my girl-brain seemed to have. Its alright. I’m looking forward to the day I own an entire non-rusting hardware kit.
And now to head for a nice hot shower. Before lunch. That I’m in no mood of getting. I see a pattern forming. Argh.
I finally found the right book to write poetry in. Its a beautiful book which is covered with stenciled velvet which forms beautiful patterns of leaves and flowers. Perfect. Got it covered with transparent plastic covering to protect the velvet from the usual elements. Now begins the tedious task of transferring over 60 poems from my desktop and phone to this book. I’m a traditionalist that way. I enjoy the old custom of writing on paper, instead of the very usual typing on phone or comps.
I also happened to get the Shiver trilogy. What can I say ? I totally dig fantasy fiction. Its fantastic how there are no limits in that world. I really get annoyed when people criticize that genre of books. Only the ones who lack even a minimal amount of imagination and creativity can claim that fantasy fiction is bullshit. When I think about it, the real world has more bullshit in it. I mean, look around. There is more crap going on around, no ethics, no courtesy, no freedom, prejudices everywhere, no life. The world in books are way better. So if some idiot actually comes up to me and tells me to be realistic, I’ll slap him in the face and tell him no, thanks. Been there. Done that. Hated it. So get lost. We imaginative creatures are a more peaceful lot though, when uninterrupted by these crappy realists.
For those of you out there who enjoy a dark, edgier and more detailed and complicated works of fantasy fiction, I suggest you to read His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. Its brilliant. It changed my whole perspective of my universe and the ones that exist parallely. Apart from that trilogy, there is another one that is more complicated and beautiful. The Inheritance cycle by Christopher Paolini is worth more than a shot.
I got a propeller key chain. What are the chances ? 😀
I’ve got a couple of strange events in my life that I generally write down. (a) – probably because it is totally worth noting, its weird afterall. and (b) – there is always a strange lesson to be learnt. I sit now blogging after a pretty awesome time I had the last couple of hours. Its strange because I barely ever stay up late. I get too drowsy. And plus, I really like the plush cuddly pillows and my blankey and my soft sheets and you get the point. I do not resist sleeping in early, But as it happens, I stayed up late tonight. Awesome company can do that sometimes. Today was one such day. I didn’t expect. When I did, I really did get disappointed. But when I completely didn’t, I had the best time. Unexpected things can give you immense joy. And this is simply because of the simplicity of an unexpected spontaneity of the moment. I learnt today that you just have to let go, chill out, loosen the grip, relax, retrospect, understand, forget, and have a great time !
Going in the pursuit of happiness alone is enough as it will lead you down the right road. Not the surface level kind of happiness, but the real tough; good and well earned happiness. Its an investment – happiness. You have got to do things that give you happiness in depth. That could entail doing things that you might find uncomfortable at first. But as you gradually continue, you will find happiness as you were truly investing in the deeds that bring you deep happiness; and not temporary satiation. Though it is an investment that takes time, since you don’t really know when you’ll reap the benefits; the joy you get could hit you at any time, any place, from anyone, in any way.
So go about doing whatever you do. Go an extra mile contributing to the cause of happiness, but also while not counting on anyone or anything.
Sleepy now. Goodnight folks.