There are just those days sometimes when you are completely down in the dumps. I’ve had too many of those for various reasons. I do have too many complaints. For one, high school was great but college life was something completely unexpected. I knew I will have to face some permanent alterations in my life, but never this deeply affecting. I had no idea what a hell I would live for over 3 years. It was hell. There isn’t another word for it. I didn’t know how much would change, and how much I would have to change to accommodate those changes. I’m still in denial about so many things that have happened to me. There is so much of the last three years that I would love to completely erase.
But if I do manage to magically erase all the bad stuff, there is no way I would be able to keep all the good. A tremendous amount of learning has come my way, through terrible situations. And two friends who stuck by me through thick and thin.
After having a flashback of all the bad times, while watching some movie with a happy ending of some girl going off to Carnegie Melon University afterall, I realized there is no end to all the bad. I could go on and on about how much I hate, how many things I would change in the past, if I could. But what would that get me ? Whatever had to happen, happened. What matters is what I do with it. Today. Tomorrow. And for the rest of my life.
So, instead of counting all that I hate, I started counting all that I have. I started counting the blessings. Its difficult to find focus, when there is so much I wished I hadn’t faced. But somehow, I atleast started counting.
And that will make all the difference.